It would be a lie if I said I never think of death.
I think about her daily almost more than life itself.
I wonder where I might go, if anywhere at all.
Do we rot beneath the ground or do we simply fall?
Fall forever into nothingness, like a bottomless pit.
In absolute darkness, inside a firey abyss.
Do we instead rise above the clouds, and the stars and everything we know?
Rise to be reunited with those we love or are we still alone.

It would be a lie, if I said I never think of love
I think about her daily almost more than life itself.
I wonder can my heart contain her, or is she just a myth.
I muse, will I ever find her, is she lost beyond the mist.
Is she a prize that I must win, or something only given as a gift.
And if I ever found her, could I keep her for myself?
or his she forbidden treasure something only found in death.

It's been so long ago, its almost like a dream.
I just see flashes, short-lived glimpses of what we used to be.
Its been a long time since I touched you or held you in my calloused hands. Ive been alone for such a time, I wouldnt expect you to understand. I have learned to be alone, a hard and usefull skill. It makes me exempt from love; Its easier to seperate the fiegned from whats real. Relying soley on myself, I no longer have to trust. However all my treasures mold and all the riches rust. But I am free from smiles and tears and Im not a slave to anneversaries. Im not bound by Hallmark cards nor by cries from an infants nursery. There are no boring weddings to attend, no reunions to show up to. No happiness to strive for, and no long list of things to do.

I am master of my domain, there's no tug-of-war over the sheets. There are no more nagging voices saying drag the trash out to the street. There is always enough food and the shower is always hot enough for me. I thought I wanted something else but alone is what I want to be. Its been so long ago, it's almost like a dream. I have swallowed all the pain and now this is all I see.