Iron Curtains
I just found out today that my ex-fiancé has been traveling down the wrong road like I was and it bothers me. I can’t even begin to explain why that is or try to describe what emotions come wrapped inside this package. An old friend of mine told me she had been hanging out with this girl who happens to be a two time loser. Twice she has been convicted of felony charges and she has been to jail on more than one occasion. When we were together I tried to keep her out of my troubles to the best of my ability and I was successful. She never saw the bad places I saw and part of me is glad that I was able to lead her down a walkway that wasn’t parallel to my own. My friend told me that over a period of about six months while I was in jail that they had gone out to stores and stole purses and little stupid, unnecessary items for fun. After a while she didn’t think twice about what it was that she was doing and it broke my heart to hear the news. About five months ago he said that she was arrested for 2nd degree burglary and theft. I heard him out but most of me did not want to believe that she would stoop so low. I never stole and none of my friends were thieves so I just couldn’t bring myself to believe that she would. After he left I went down to the local coffee house and brought up her name on Missouri case net dot com, and sadly there she was. Along with another charge no one had told me about. My first instinct was to shake her from my thoughts right then and there but I couldn’t. Then I started thinking about all the times she stayed by my side when I found myself behind concrete walls and steel doors and I began to feel sort of confused. We have not been together for almost a year now but I don’t want her to have to suffer in that place the way that I did. I began to think about how it seems like when you’re going down you tend to have wound up surrounding yourself with the kind of friends who bail on you. You become involved with the kind of fly by night buddies who are there one minute and gone the next. Tomorrow I will go down to the jailhouse and put a hundred bucks on her books and see about visitation. The position I put myself in is one of personal choice. Sometimes the only way a man or woman learns from their mistakes is to find out what it is that they want and choose. Some people choose to allow all the bad choices they make to pile up on them until the weight of it is staggering. Other people can be warned once and they will have such a fear of the consequences that they will choose not to go down that path. I would hope that I could talk to her and try to steer her way from all this nonsense and point her in the direction of a good attorney but she is so hard headed sometimes. Over the past few months I have prayed for her and I have hoped that even if we aren’t meant to be together that she be able to find happiness in whatever she replaced me with. This just puts a whole lot into perspective and the more I think about it the more I wonder what the right thing to do is.