03/14/09-

I don’t have any Idea what to say I think that most people love me and my heart can only take so much trouble. It is very hard for me to explain the way I feel because maybe I don’t really know. I think so much about me and what is going on in my own personal life that I don’t have time for anything else and I think that is why I have failed in most relationships. Everything is a two way street I don’t even want anything special from the people I know but something in me is so green I just tend to get my feelings hurt too easily and I tend to wind up saying all t he wrong things to all the wrong people and I don’t even want to go on. If I could do anything I would move back to Long Beach California and start all over and try to push all these poor thoughts out of my head and start trying to get into a mindset where I can live. Truly live and not worry about fast cars and diamonds for the girls and what seems to be trendy now. I just want to finish school and make a little money but enough about me what about you darling sees. I don’t know if I’m even doing t his exercise right or not. I know there aren’t many rules to free writing but to just be continual and I guess that feeling that you’re not really getting much accomplished will soon vanish like a puff of smoke and I can learn to be a little more creative but what other purpose does it serve other than a warm up of sorts. I need. I need so much of this writing class that it hurts. I don’t think I do well.