Sing

She hasn't sang her songs
Not in many years
She cries in her sleep
And I wipe away the tears
She holds her head high
And puts on a good face
But when she lets down her guard
I know her heart aches
I need to be strong for her
But I don't know how
Inside I'm going crazy
No one can save me now
And when I'm gone
Who will be there to wipe her crying eyes
And hold her when she's lonely
Or unmask her disguise
Who will fill that empty space
Who will let her laugh
Who will carry her away to
A warm drawn bubble bath
Who will stop the pain
And set her heart free
When her entire life is
Wrapped inside of me
Tonight I close my eyes
And wait for death to come
Listening to the wind
And bathing in the sun
I search deep within myself
To find where I belong
Then she takes my hand
And sings my favorite song
I try to peer into her heart
To find what's underneath
I rip through her hidden terror
And leave a piece of me

I wrote this poem back in 1998 and I guess Im posting it to see if the readers can notice any sort of differences in my writing now than when I was 13 years old. I think it's important to feel like your maturing as a writer, at least for oneself. See I never wrote anything to try and impress someone I don't think. I have wrote things to ladies when I was a little younger and a little more naieve. I like to write and it's wierd for a black man to like to write. I mean I don't see a lot of men like me inerested in writing short stories or poems that don't just turn into raps. I never wanted to be a rapper really but it would seem that's where there is a lot of money to be made and so thier is some kind of attraction to it. But mostly I just wanted to tell stories but I don't (for myself ) feel like I am good enough to make money thier either so I simply write for the love of writing. I admit before I started school this year there was a long sabatical from writing anything. It would seem that life outside of this sort of setting doesn't afford a man to do much pleasure writing and other things block your mind from flowing freely but I still love it, it seems.
Today I volunteered some time to the Salvation Army working at thier thrift store from about noon til four and I found pleasure in doing good. It's odd how much my life is changing and how my thoughts about life change with it.